Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize