she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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