are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
