It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
