i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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