why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
