So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
