is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
