Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
