"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
