I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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