She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
