she woke up with a sticky ear
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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