just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize