Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
