haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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