This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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