I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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