Please, let me fuck your mom
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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