I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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