there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
