you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
