Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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