Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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