As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize