So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
