gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
third nipple confirmed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
