the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize