my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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