Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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