glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this just has baby written all over it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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