I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
