Buhtt sex?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
