I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
