After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
