if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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