Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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