i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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