So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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