I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
