Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
two words...techno handjob
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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