I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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