I just saw a hot homeless man
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
