Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
