So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
