I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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