I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
