How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
