I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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