Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
