Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
