It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No subtext here. People are naked.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
