my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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