the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
