id be glad to
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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