Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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