Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Drunk is not a location!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
