i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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