I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
