I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
