He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
