drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
