I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
NoShamevember. You game?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
