I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize