accomplished twins. life is a go
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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