I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize