i jhust puked up my retainher.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
